A Little Lesson Read online

  Bronson shook his head sadly. “No, we won’t. That’s what Rainier told me.” Bronson sighed, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

  Trying to breathe through the pain slicing through his body, Nash held a hand out to Bronson, who hesitated before taking it. “Start at the beginning and we’ll go from there, okay?”

  “Okay. Rainier asked all about my relationship with Alicia and then Alicia’s relationship with Tucker. He wants me to write a list of all the incidents where she mistreated or neglected him.”

  It was Nash’s turn to nod. “That sounds like sensible advice.”

  “I thought so too.” Bronson pulled his hand away from Nash and went to the fridge, grabbing two bottles of water and setting them on the table. “He also said that since my being gay is the heart of Alicia’s lawsuit, that it’s for the best if we break up.” Bronson lowered his head before turning away from Nash.

  Nash knew this was one possible outcome of Bronson’s meeting with Rainier. What he didn’t know was how much it would hurt to hear Bronson say those words out loud. “Okay.” Lame as it was, it was the only thing Nash could think to say.

  Turning back around, Bronson was swiping tears from his eyes. “I love you, Nash. God knows I do. The last thing I want to do right now is break up with you. It took so long to find you and now…” Bronson took a shaky breath. “You’re the love of my life.”

  Nash could see Bronson was rapidly losing control. He had a feeling Bronson had been stoic in front of Rainier, but now he was letting his vulnerability shine through. “What did Rainier say exactly?”

  Bronson swiped the back of his hand across his damp eyes. “He said that the best thing for us to do was to break up. If we’re not together, Alicia can’t prove her allegations except through hearsay. It’s a good thing Tucker didn’t know we were a couple, otherwise she could use my own son against me.”

  This was Nash’s worst fear come to life. He was standing three feet away from the man of his dreams and he was going to lose him. “Are we saying goodbye forever?” He could feel the emotion starting to well up inside of him.

  Bronson shook his head no. “That’s the one bit of good news. Once the case is settled, we can get back together. Rainier said that if we stay together and I lose…” Bronson whimpered, wrapping his arms around himself.

  Knowing exactly what Rainier said, Nash went to Bronson, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight. “He said that if we stay together and you lose Tucker that you’d blame me and we end up breaking up, right?”

  Bronson nodded, holding Nash tighter against his chest.

  “So all we have to do is stay broken up until the case is settled?” Nash could live with that. It would probably be a few months at the most.

  “Right.”

  “It won’t be so bad, Bronson.” Nash cupped the side of Bronson’s face. “We can text and email and accidentally bump into each other at the movies. We’ll get through it.”

  Pulling away from Nash, Bronson paced around the kitchen. “We can’t do any of those things.”

  “What are you talking about? Alicia will never know.” Now Nash was scared. Was Bronson saying they couldn’t see each other at all?

  “Rainier said that emails and texts are fair game in the trial. If her lawyers subpoena my phone and email records, they’d have our conversations. I can’t remember anything we wrote to each other that’s damaging or indicates that we were lovers and we need to keep it that way.”

  Nash pulled away from Bronson. “Feels like I’m being shoved in the closet.” Never in his life had he felt like he had to hide his light under a basket. This felt all wrong.

  “I know, Nash. It feels that way to me too.” Bronson slipped up behind Nash and wrapped his arms around his lover. “This isn’t what I want. I just found you. I don’t want to lose you, but I’ll understand if this is too much for you. Rainier said that the whole thing could take years if Alicia’s lawyers play hardball. I don’t think they will since she wants to get married so badly, but still, it means we’ll be apart for however long it takes.”

  Nash turned in Bronson’s arms. “The most important thing is keeping you and Tucker together. We’ll see each other when you drop him off and pick him up at school. Until we can be together again, I’ll live on the memories of our day in bed and I’ll always hear you telling me you love me inside my head.” God help him, he’d replay those words over and over again. “Just know that whenever I rub my hand through the back of my hair, I’m telling you how much I love you.”

  Bronson nodded. “A secret sign is a sweet idea. I’ll do it too. I love you so much, Nash Spencer, and don’t you forget it.”

  Nash would never forget. “I love you too, Bronson McKinnon.”

  14

  Bronson had managed to stop crying before Tucker came home. When he’d looked at himself in his newly cleaned bathroom mirror, he looked like someone had died. His eyes were bloodshot, puffy and red-ringed. He’d done the best he could to hide the fact that he’d been crying his broken heart out.

  The worst thing he could do now was to show weakness in front of his she-wolf ex. She could smell blood in the air from miles away. Thankfully, Ashton had been waiting for her in the car and she only stayed long enough to shove Tucker through the door. She didn’t even kiss her son goodbye.

  Bronson would have to remember to add that to his list of things she’d done over the years to ignore or neglect Tucker. Once he got his head wrapped around the project, he was sure it would take hours and probably more like days to write it all down.

  “Tucker? Are you ready to make dinosaur nuggets?”

  “Yes!” Tucker jumped up from the couch where he’d been watching Toy Story and raced into the kitchen. “Daddy, why isn’t Mr. Spencer here for nuggets and fries? It’s his favorite meal.”

  Bronson faked a smile for Tucker. Hearing Nash’s name was like a kick to the gut, though he couldn’t blame the little boy for asking. “Dinosaur nuggets and fries are your favorite meal. Nash is having dinner at home tonight because there’s something I need to talk to you about. Something important.”

  “Are you getting me a puppy?” Tucker’s green eyes glowed with delight.

  Bronson shook his head. “You know we can’t have a puppy living in this apartment.” The way things were going with the custody suit, he might never get the chance to buy Tucker a puppy.

  “Yeah but when you marry Mr. Spencer we can live at his house. The big back yard is perfect for a puppy and a growing boy!” Tucker was all smiles.

  “Why do you think me and Mr. Spencer are getting married?” Bronson didn’t know if he was more elated or terrified by Tucker’s train of thought.

  “You said that people get married when they’re best friends. You and Mr. Spencer are best friends, right?” Tucker drew out the last word and giggled.

  Bronson wanted so much to laugh along with his son, but couldn’t muster the strength to fake it. “That is what I said, Tucker, but not all best friends get married.” He needed to man up and just tell Tucker what was going on, enough beating around the bush. Being apart from Nash was his new reality and the sooner he started accepting it, the better off they would all be. “I need to tell you something important, so I need you to really listen.”

  “Do I need to put my listening ears on?” Tucker asked excitedly.

  Bronson nodded. Putting on “listening ears” was something Nash taught the kids on the first day of school. Tucker made a motion with his hands like he was putting on a pair of earphones and his eyes snapped up to Bronson.

  “Okay, so you know how you live part of the time with Mommy and part of the time with me?”

  Tucker nodded. “I wish I could live with you all the time, Daddy.”

  “I wish the same thing, buddy.” Bronson took a deep breath praying for the right words to say for his son. “Mommy wants you to live with her all the time.”

  “No! I don’t wanna live with Mommy!” Tucker shouted, his gree
n eyes burning with anger. “I hate Ashton!”

  “Tucker Brady McKinnon!” Bronson hated chastising Tucker for being honest about his feelings, but he couldn’t have Tucker going around saying he hated people. “We don’t say that word in this house. You know better than that.”

  “It’s true I hate him more than I hate green beans!” Tucker’s angry little face was serious.

  Bronson barked out a rough laugh. After what happened this afternoon with Nash, he felt like he’d never laugh again. “That’s a lot of hate, Tucker.” His son would get full body shivers when he tried to eat a green bean, then the gagging would start.

  Tucker nodded emphatically. “He’s not a nice man! He doesn’t play with me like Mr. Spencer and you do. He yells at me too.” Tucker frowned. “Go away you little shit-ball!” Tucker shouted loudly.

  “Ashton calls you names?” What the actual fuck? Where the fuck was Alicia when her fiancé was verbally abusing their son? Probably lost in the bottom of a bottle of Pinot Noir.

  Tucker nodded his head so hard his hair flew all over.

  “Where’s Mommy when this happens?” Bronson held his breath, not wanting to hear Tucker’s answer, but knowing he needed to listen.

  Shrugging, Tucker reached for the bag of French fries, pulling the tab off the top of the bag and shaking out the frozen potatoes on the cookie sheet. “In bed. She gets lots of headaches.”

  Bronson had no doubt what Tucker said was true. “So if Mommy is in bed, who puts you to bed?”

  “No one,” Tucker said simply, reaching for the sealed bag of dinosaur nuggets. “Can you open this, Daddy?”

  Taking the bag from Tucker, Bronson seethed on the inside, hoping his son couldn’t see the anger burning in his eyes. On the nights when Tucker was with him, Bronson cuddled with Tucker while they watched half an hour of television together. Then it was off to brush his teeth and wash his face before he’d put on his pajamas and pick out two books to read. Once Tucker was in bed, Bronson would climb in with him and they would read the books together. Then it was kisses and hugs and lots of “I love yous,” before it was lights out.

  It broke Bronson’s heart to think that none of those things happened when Tucker spent the night with his mother. Usually Tucker was a sound sleeper, but he had night terrors on occasion. Would anyone even get up to comfort him if Tucker started screaming in the middle of the night?

  It was one more thing to add to the list he was going to make for Rainier, but it gave him no comfort. It only made him feel worse at the prospect of losing Tucker.

  Spreading the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets on the cookie sheet, Bronson kissed Tucker’s head and stuck their dinner in the oven. He didn’t want to finish the talk with Tucker, but it was too late to turn back now. “Do you think we can finish talking about living with Mommy without you yelling and being disrespectful?”

  Tucker folded his arms across his chest, looking like he was thinking it over. Finally, he nodded. “I can be respectful, Daddy.”

  “I know you can, buddy.” Bronson smiled at his son and took his usual seat at their kitchen table. “Mommy and I have to go talk to a judge about which home is the best home for you to live in.”

  “You mean Judge Judy?” Tucker jumped off his seat and danced around the room.

  Judge Judy was his mother’s favorite show. In exchange for cookies, Tucker would let Grams watch her show. In his mother’s opinion, it was a win-win situation. It also helped Bronson explain things better to Tucker, since he knew what a courtroom was and what a judge did. “No buddy, it won’t be Judge Judy, but it will be someone who does the same job. The judge will listen to Mommy say why you should live with her and then they’ll listen to why I think you should live with me.”

  “Then the judge makes a ruling!” Tucker grinned, climbing up on Bronson’s lap.

  “That’s right. You’re so smart.” Bronson hugged the little boy tight. “There’s one more thing you need to know.”

  “Okay.”

  “If the judge lets you live with Mommy, she and Ashton are going to move far away.”

  “All the way to Lowell?” Tucker’s eyes were as big as dinner plates.

  Bronson laughed. He and his parents had taken Tucker to a Lowell Spinners game over the summer. The Spinners were an A ball affiliate of the Boston Red Sox. Tucker had loved the game but complained that it took hours to get there. It was a forty minute ride from their house, but to Tucker it might as well have been to the moon. “No, not to Lowell. Mommy wants to move to Ashton’s house in Connecticut.”

  “Is that the town after Lowell?”

  Bronson shook his head. “It’s about three hours away from our house.”

  “Three hours?” Tucker hopped off Bronson’s lap and fake fainted, holding his hand against his forehead. “Is that how long it takes to watch Toy Story?”

  “That’s long enough to watch the movie twice in a row.”

  Tucker sat on the floor and stared up at Bronson. “But I could see you all the time like I do now, right?”

  Bronson felt his breath catch in his throat. If Alicia won full custody, she could decide when and if he saw Tucker. He could drive all that way to Connecticut and she could slam the door in his face. “No, Tucker. We wouldn’t see each other all the time.”

  Tucker climbed back to his feet. “Well that settles it! I’m not going!” He stomped his feet and folded his arms over his chest as if that decided everything, then he burst into tears.

  Bronson scooped the little boy into his arms and held on tight. He was going to do everything in his power to win this fight no matter what it took. Losing Tucker would kill him and then would kill his relationship with Nash. There was only one way on earth that his bitch-on-wheels ex-wife was going to take everything he loved away from him. Over his dead body.

  XX

  Nash was sitting on his couch watching an episode of Hawaii Five-0. Not even a half-naked and wet McGarrett could cheer him up. He should have been over at Bronson’s house enjoying dinosaur nuggets and fries with Tucker, laughing and being a happy family. Instead he was home in his pajamas feeling so heartsick he was nauseous.

  When the doorbell rang out of the blue, Nash barely moved. He knew it wasn’t Bronson and Tucker at his door and he wasn’t in the mood to hear about Knox’s latest conquest or to listen to Remington complain about Declan O’Toole for the next few hours.

  He’d just stay where he was and eventually whoever was at the door would get the message and piss off.

  “Damn it, Nash! I know you’re in there!” Remington bellowed from the other side of the front door. “Open up or I’m using the hidden key!”

  Fuck… Of course his friends knew where he kept the hidden key. Rolling his eyes, Nash got off the couch and headed to the door. When he opened it, he saw Remington looking under the rock where the key was hidden. “Come in.”

  Remington straightened up and headed toward the open door, picking up a brown paper bag with handles. “Brought your favorites from that new Thai place over on Pleasant Street.”

  Nash nodded and let his best friend into his house. As much as he wanted to be alone five minutes ago, now he was happy that Remington was here. Take-out from Sweet Thyme was just a bonus.

  He followed Rem into the kitchen where his friend had already gotten out plates and forks and was unpacking the bag.

  “Rainier called,” Remington said simply, dumping a spring roll on each of their plates.

  “He didn’t tell you what happened with Bronson, did he?”

  “Hell no! That would be against lawyer-patient something-or-other.” Rem winked at his friend. “He just said that you could use a friend tonight, so here I am.” He dumped a portion of Crazy Noodle on Nash’s plate before dumping the rest onto his own.

  Nash snorted. He knew Remington was just trying to cheer him up. He took his seat and grabbed the spring roll, devouring half of it one bite.

  “Now that you’ve eaten, tell me what happened with Bronson.” Rem d
ug into the large rice noodles on his plate.

  “Now that I’ve eaten? Rem, I had one bite.”

  “Exactly, you’ve eaten. Now dish.” Rem hopped up from the table and grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge.

  It was a school night for both of them. It wouldn’t do him any good to drown his sorrows in beer anyway. It wasn’t going to change anything. “Bronson and I said I love you, we fucked like bunnies and when Bronson got back from his meeting with Rainier, he broke up with me, on your brother’s orders.”

  “I…” Remington shook his head as if he didn’t quite understand. “What!? You’re saying Rainier made Bronson dump you?”

  “Calm down. I’ll tell you the whole story. I was sort of hoping I could get away with the abridged version.”

  Remington laughed. “Let’s go with unabridged on this one. Start from the beginning.”

  Taking a big bite of the noodles, Nash tried to order his thoughts. “I went to Bronson’s this morning to tell him about Rainier’s offer to hear about his case. I was hoping we could talk and maybe get back together, which is exactly what happened.” Nash sighed, remembering what it felt like when he and Bronson were joined as one.

  “And the two of you did the nasty?” Rem waggled his eyebrows, a shit-eating grin on his face.

  “Yes, infant, twice!” Nash rolled his eyes. He didn’t blame Rem for wanting details. His friend had been single since Declan O’Toole broke his heart. “Then we cuddled for a while and kept saying how much we loved each other.”

  Rem nodded before looking up at Nash. “How did that feel?”

  Nash could see the longing look in his friend’s eyes. “Like I was the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”

  Remington snorted. “Okay, Lou Gehrig, what happened next?”

  Nash wanted to laugh, but couldn’t. He had felt like the luckiest man alive when he’d been lying in Bronson’s arms. “Then Bronson left for the meeting. He was going to pick up Tucker’s favorite meal so we could have a family dinner and then we were going to tell Tucker that we were a couple.”