Dead to the World (Cold Case Psychic Book 10) Read online

  “When I tell him that I made you choose between that baby and lying…”

  “I’ve reminded myself a million times that you’re going to be my white knight, Clemente, but in the end, it’s going to be me covered in horse shit. I don’t need to be psychic to know that the minute the whole truth comes out, I’ll be the one standing on the sidewalk with a suitcase in my hand being forced to walk away from the only man who’s ever loved me for who I am, this gift and all. While it turns out this gift is what will bring everything crashing down around us.”

  “Ten? Where are you?” Ronan called down from the top of the stairs. “I can smell the popcorn. Did you eat it all?” he teased.

  “Are you dressed, Ronan?” Ten called back.

  “Sort of, why?” Concern replaced the laugh in Ronan’s voice.

  “We have some unexpected company. Can you come down here, please?” Ten tried and failed to keep the nerves out of his voice.

  “Give me a sec. I’ll put on a shirt.”

  Tennyson turned back to Clemente. “I know I’ve accused you of being a heartless motherfucking bastard.”

  Clemente snorted. “I don’t remember hearing you say that.”

  Tennyson smiled. He knew it was filled with malice and bad intentions. If this were a horror movie thousands of spiders would be spilling from his lips right about now as the camera cut to a horrified-looking Cruz Clemente. “I’ve said it in my head every hour of every day since we met.”

  “Gee, thanks.” Clemente’s smirk fell off his face.

  “Some day maybe you’ll understand why I’ve been cursing your name. Until then, you’ve got the next week before Tony Abruzzi walks into that courtroom to come up with one hell of a compelling speech for Ronan. You forced me into this, Cruz. Your words had damned well better be what saves me and my unborn daughter.” Tennyson had a juicy tidbit or two from Cruz’s past that might just end up in the wrong hands if Clemente decided not to honor his word.

  Ronan’s footsteps started to pound down the stairs.

  Clemente nodded to Tennyson. He stood up when Ronan reached the bottom of the stairs.

  “Ten, who is this?” Ronan’s guard was instantly on alert.

  “Ronan, this is Cruz Clemente. He’s with the FBI, but he won’t tell me why he’s here.” Christ, Ten was lying to Ronan again. There was no way that he should know Cruz. Thank God he’d remembered that in time or he would have given the entire thing away.

  “The FBI?” Ronan shook Clemente’s hand and took a seat in the chair next to Tennyson’s.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Detective O’Mara. I’m the agent involved in the Vito Dragonni case.”

  Ronan’s eyes narrowed on Clemente. “The federal gun running case? How can that possibly go forward with,” Ronan took a shallow breath, “Tony dead. He’s the one who ran the guns.”

  “That’s where you come in, Detective O’Mara. You were there the night Detective Abruzzi confessed to running guns for the Dragonni family. You heard the entire conversation between Dragonni and your former partner. That’s what you’re going to be asked to testify about.”

  Ronan’s eyes moved back and forth between his husband and the FBI agent. “Why are you here? Why aren’t I being subpoenaed by the prosecutor?”

  “We’re trying to keep this as quiet as possible due to the sensitive nature of this case and the events that occurred when Mr. Dragonni was out of prison. Your safety is our number one priority. No one knows I’m associated with this case. Whereas everyone would know what was going on if you came to the prosecutor’s office in the federal building downtown.”

  That made complete sense to Tennyson. The question was, would Ronan buy it?

  “All I would be testifying to would be what I witnessed that night when Dragonni shot Tony?”

  Cruz nodded. “That and the fact that you knew nothing about Abruzzi’s involvement with the Dragonni family until that night.”

  Ronan sighed. His chin sank toward his chest. “That is true enough. Tony never said a word.”

  “I’ll be in touch next week about your testimony. We’ll set up a mock session to go over questions and answers.” Clemente stood up and reached into his jacket pocket. “Here’s my card. Call day or night if you have questions.”

  Ronan nodded. He didn’t get out of his chair.

  “It was nice meeting you, Detective O’Mara. I’m sorry it had to be under these circumstances.”

  Handing Dixie to Ronan, Ten escorted Clemente to the door. “Goodbye, Agent Clemente.”

  Cruz smiled at Tennyson. He flashed him a thumbs up and was gone.

  Tennyson shut the door behind him and leaned back against it. His heart was pounding like a jackhammer. Only a week to go until the secret would be out in the open. All Ten had been able to think about for the last five months was being able to tell Ronan that Tony was alive. Now, all he wanted was more time when his husband didn’t know he was a dirty liar.

  7

  Ronan

  Ronan felt frozen in time. He barely heard Tennyson say goodbye to the FBI agent. All he could do was repeat the conversation he’d had with the man over in his mind. Vito Dragonni was going to trial on federal weapons charges. Ronan was going to have to testify.

  Why hadn’t this occurred to him before? He supposed that with Tony dead there was no star witness to testify against Dragonni. He hadn’t watched a scrap of news in five months to know that a trial against the mob boss was even in the works. His head had been too far up his own selfish ass for him to have been paying attention to anything going on around him.

  More to the point, Ronan hadn’t really been thinking about much of anything aside from his own grief over the last five months. It had all been about him. How he was feeling or the feelings he was trying to avoid.

  What else had he missed in the last few months? There had been countless family celebrations he’d attended physically, but hadn’t really been a part of in spirit. He’d done the best he could to make Christmas merry and bright, but he’d still felt like there was a gigantic Tony Abruzzi-sized hole in their celebration. He’d even participated in the BPD charity strip-a-thon. That had been the one night that Ronan had felt like his old self.

  “Hey,” Ten said, bringing Ronan back to the present.

  “That must have been one hell of a surprise, opening the front door to find an FBI agent standing on our front steps.” Ronan smiled up at his husband, something he’d gotten out of the habit of doing.

  Ten nodded. “Yeah, it was a shock.” He slumped into the chair next to Ronan.

  “While you were walking him out, I was thinking that I owe you a big apology.” One that was also way past due as well, Ronan admitted to himself.

  “For what?” Ten frowned. He looked like he was trying to puzzle out what Ronan could possibly be talking about.

  “I let my grief over Tony’s death consume me. I felt guilty that there was nothing I could do to prevent it and then I felt guiltier for not being there at the hospital when he died. I let those feelings eat away at me and they’ve rubbed off on you.” Ronan stood up from his seat, setting Dixie on the floor. “Look what my selfish behavior has done to you.” He knelt at Ten’s feet “You’ve lost so much weight. You’re not sleeping or eating. This is all my fault, Ten. We haven’t even set up the crib yet.”

  Ten ran a hand through Ronan’s hair. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

  “No more tears, Ten. I have a plan.” Ronan pressed a kiss to Ten’s lips. “I know how we’re going to turn everything around.”

  “You do?” Ten looked intrigued.

  Ronan nodded. “That surprise baby shower is tomorrow. We’re going to go and have the time of our lives. We’ll laugh and open presents and celebrate Emilyn and our little miss. The only tears we’ll shed will be happy ones. Then, when the party is over, we’re coming back here to build Everly’s crib and set up her room. What do you think?”

  “I think it’s a great idea.” Ten smiled. It was a real
smile, not one of those fake ones he’d been pasting on his lips lately. “Ever since we found out she was on the way, I’ve been excited about decorating her room with you.”

  “So that’s what we’ll do. Call out for pizza and build the perfect room for our little angel to sleep peacefully in.” Ronan hopped to his feet. He offered a hand down to Tennyson. “I believe I owe you a back rub.”

  Ten took his hand, letting Ronan pull him back to his feet. “If you don’t mind me asking, what brought around this change in you?”

  A smile burst across Ronan’s face. “You did.”

  “Me?” Ten looked stunned.

  “You are my entire life, Tennyson Grimm. When I decided that I wanted to marry you and spend the rest of my life loving you and building a family together, it was the happiest time of my life. I hated to sleep when we first got together because I was missing precious minutes with you.” It was true. Falling asleep was a disappointment. All Ronan wanted to do was spend time with Tennyson. Sleep seemed like such a waste of time.

  “I remember us laughing about that.” Ten set a hand against Ronan’s rough stubbled cheek.

  “As you were walking that FBI guy out of the house, it occurred to me that I’ve wasted these last five months with you. We’ve had some good days sprinkled in here or there, but for the most part, I’ve been a selfish asshole, putting my grief above everything else. Above you and Everly Erin and above this life that I’m so damned blessed to be living with you.” Ronan wrapped his arms around Tennyson and held him tight.

  “You had a lot to process, Ronan. I’ve never faulted you for that.” Ten pulled back to look his husband in the eye. “You’d only started to repair your relationship with Tony before everything happened. I couldn’t help but wonder if that’s been part of what’s been fueling this grief.”

  “That’s it exactly. I wasn’t quite sure how to say it, but there’s that extra layer of guilt because Tony and I let a year go by without speaking to each other.” Ronan had really struggled over that year. He’d been reaching out to Tony after the death of his son, but Tony hadn’t been ready to reestablish their friendship yet. They’d just started that process when Tony was murdered. “I’ve missed so much precious time with you. I don’t want to miss any more. I’m not saying I won’t have my moments when I’m down, but I need to step back into my own life again. We’ve got less than six weeks until we’re going to be fathers.”

  “If you’re going to step back into life then I will too!” Ten bounced up on his tiptoes to kiss Ronan’s lips. “There’s still so much to do to get ready for her arrival.”

  “There’s something we need to talk about.” Ronan raised an eyebrow.

  Ten’s smile faded in a heartbeat. His cheery mood seeming to deflate like a balloon with a pinhole in it. “What’s that?”

  “We need to talk about you. I know you’re keeping something from me.”

  Ten ducked his head. He gasped when Ronan pulled him against his hard chest.

  “You don’t have to tell me what it is you’re struggling with, babe, just admit that there’s something.” Ronan’s heart was pounding in his chest. He’d spent the rest of the day after his impromptu meeting with Fitzgibbon trying to figure out how to broach this subject with his husband.

  “There’s something,” Ten whispered. He took a shuddering breath before looking up at Ronan. “I need you to listen to me very carefully, okay?”

  “Okay,” Ronan answered without hesitation. He was prepared for whatever Tennyson was about to tell him.

  “I’m struggling with something that I can’t tell you about. Not yet anyway.” Ten nibbled on his bottom lip. “This is the part that I need you to really listen to, Ronan. It’s important.”

  Ronan nodded, not saying a word. He couldn’t help feeling that there was so much riding on these next few minutes. Maybe everything.

  “I want to tell you what’s making me lose sleep and weight. Why I’m not my old self. Why I barely smile anymore. It’s not you, Ronan. Please believe me when I tell you that what’s going on with me has nothing to do with you or Everly, but the reason I have to keep this to myself has everything to do with both of you. I know I sound like one of those assholes on Facebook who posts something cryptic just so a hundred people ask what’s wrong. I’m not doing that. What I am going to do though is ask you to make me a promise.”

  Ronan studied his husband. He knew from Ten’s body language that he was telling the truth. His husband’s mood and physical condition were not a product of him and the way he’d responded to Tony’s death. That took a big weight off his shoulders. He also knew that Ten wasn’t cheating on him and hadn’t bankrupted them on bad investments or a million pink baby dresses. “I’ll make you that promise after you answer one question for me.”

  “Ask away.” Ten’s eyes stayed locked with Ronan’s.

  “Are you sick? The weight loss, plus you not sleeping and not acting like your usual self. Are you dying and you’re just afraid of telling me before the baby is born?” In Ronan’s mind, that was the only secret he couldn’t live with. The only thing he couldn’t get past.

  Ten shook his head. “I’m not sick. I don’t have cancer or anything life-threatening. I promise.”

  Ronan hugged him close. He felt the breath he’d been holding whoosh out of him. “Thank Jesus.”

  “This is what I need you to promise me,” Ten started.

  Pulling back from their hug, Ronan wiped away the rogue tear that had trickled down his left cheek. Now that he knew Ten wasn’t dying, he’d promise his husband anything. “I’m listening.”

  “When the time comes, I need you to promise that you’ll listen to me. Hear me out. All the way out. I know that you’re just going to blindly agree to this because I’m not dying, but I really need you to listen to these words, Ronan. Everything I did was for you and Everly. You need to let me explain that reason to you. You need to listen. You won’t want to, but you need to.” Ten was almost pleading with him. Despair was warring with grief in his dark, glassy eyes.

  Playing Tennyson’s words back in his mind, Ronan realized how serious this situation was. If Tennyson had done whatever this thing was to protect him and their unborn child, that was good enough for him. “There’s nothing that you’ve done that I can’t forgive, Tennyson Grimm-O’Mara. I promise I will listen to every word you have to say to me when the time comes.”

  “Thank you, Ronan. I can’t tell you how much this means to me. I might actually be able to sleep tonight.”

  “Of course, you’re going to sleep tonight. I’m going to give you a back rub and we’re going to fall asleep watching the news.”

  “You really are ready to step back into life, aren’t you?”

  Ronan nodded. “I love you with my entire soul, Ten. Don’t ever forget that.”

  “I love you too.” Ten rested his face over Ronan’s heart and held on tight.

  He had no idea what this big secret was. Knowing Ten, it was probably something small and insignificant. Whatever it was, Ronan was positive it was going to be nothing more than a tiny speed bump in their marriage.

  8

  Tennyson

  “Surprise!” Everyone shouted when Emilyn, Tennyson, and Ronan walked into the function room at Lobster Charlie’s at noon the next day.

  Tennyson did his best to look surprised. This baby shower was the worst kept secret in the world. Carson and Cole were broadcasting their excitement so loudly that Ten and Emilyn couldn’t help picking it up with their gifts. It was just as well, Ten didn’t want her being surprised by anything and having that putting the baby in any kind of jeopardy.

  The three of them made their way around the room hugging all of their friends. Carson and Truman were first, followed by Cassie and Cole. Fitzgibbon, Jace, and Greeley were all smiles as they congratulated the fathers-to-be. Jude and Copeland, who were still getting along in their fledgling partnership, offered congratulations and handshakes. Walker and Hunter were sitting with Cisco an
d Luca, who was bundled up against the sunlight streaming in from the windows. Niall and Tobin hugged Ten so hard his ribs hurt. Broughan Beals and Vann Hoffman were entertaining Inez Salazar and her sister along with Dempsey, Callum, and Madam Aurora.

  Ten couldn’t help noticing how pink everything was. From the tablecloths, to the decorations, and the clothes line set up behind the pink three-tiered cake, which was hung with ten little pink dresses and matching shoes.

  “This is amazing, Ten.” Ronan pulled his husband in for a quick hug. “I can’t believe our friends did this for us.”

  “Did you see all of the baby dresses?” Ten pointed behind him.

  “We’re going to need a professional photographer at the house constantly taking pictures of her in all of those sweet little outfits.” Ronan shook his head.

  “Come on, Daddies!” Carson wrapped an arm around both of them. “It’s time to open presents and then we’ll eat.” He led them to the chairs set up at the front of the room.

  Emilyn was already seated in the middle chair, smiling like she had the world on a string. Truman was taking pictures of her with her hand resting on her baby bump.

  “Have a seat guys, so I can get you both in the pictures too.” Truman went back to taking pictures as soon as Ten and Ronan sat down.

  Ten got a chance to catch his breath while Truman was snapping picture after picture. He could see Greeley also had a tripod set up and had his video camera aimed at the three of them as well. The idea that he’d get to watch this video again and again thrilled him since this might be one of the last good days he had with Ronan.

  Their chat last night about the future had been a good start with Ronan promising to listen to everything he had to say when the truth finally came out. Ten was a realist though. He knew that it wasn’t going to work that way at all. When Ronan saw Tony walk into that courtroom, he was going to know instantly that this was what Tennyson had been talking about. Then he was going to realize that Ten had kept this secret from him for five months. Then Ronan was going to lose it.